Month: April 2008
*Sent to me by my Aunt Geri*
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he’s going to look up there anyway?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
And the oldie but goodie …
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Haven’t posted in the past week due to 1) Noah’s birthday party yesterday, and 2) packing up, organizing and getting ready to start moving come Tuesday. No updates the rest of the week, either, due to us transfering utilities and getting settled in the other house.
Noah’s birthday party is next weekend. Jenn’s having it at the church again this year, and she’s ordered an inflatable bounce slide for the kids to play on. She paid for it over the phone — a bad idea from the start, but despite my eye-rolls and shaking of my head, she did it anyways. Now the company delivering and setting the inflatable up actually deposited the money into our checking account instead of withdrawing it! That’s right, they accidently paid us for renting it instead of taking the money out that we were suppose to pay them.
The bad news is that our bank can’t do anything about it and the company will now have to debit our checking account twice … once to get the money they put in out, and again for the actual payment. I don’t like people messing with my checking account.
We’re also still waiting to move. The people in the house we’re buying is closing on their new house on the 26th. That’s the day before Noah’s birthday, so hopefully they’ll be out come that Monday, at which point I hope to start moving our stuff in. My goal is to be out by the first of May so our landlord won’t be wondering where his rent is if we’re a day or two over the first of the month. No offense, but he ain’t getting a full months rent for 2 days of occupancy. I’ll be glad to pro-rate it and give him 2-days worth.
And finally, at work, they’re moving and shaking things up again. I assume it’s to keep the supervisor’s bonuses coming in while cutting our benefits, but reguardless, they eliminated our 3rd shift, cut all the temporaries loose and got rid of the folks that had been hired on under 90-days. All of this takes affect the same week I’m hoping to move, a day after Noah’s birthday party. Niiiiiiice … alot going on that week, evidently!
Meanwhile, I’m disappointed that I haven’t been maintaining the blog like I should. Need more updates, and updates I shall work on.