Hurtful Comments & Lying Catching Up on a Friend

As I’ve said before, our son is a 3rd grade home schooler. My wife has always been a little anxious about being his teacher because she was always afraid she wasn’t teaching him properly. By that I mean, was she spending enough time on certain subjects, was she using the right materials, etc, etc. Well, this year we signed up for the K12 program. This is the first year (I believe) it has been offered in Tennessee, and it is a home school program supported and ran by the public school system. As part of this program, students from grades 3 to 8 must complete assessments. This helps the education system customize the areas where the individual students need to concentrate more of their attention and also provides the parents (in our case especially – well, my wife’s), with a bit of a roadmap as to how they’ve been doing in educating the child.

This was all toward the beginning of the year and we had not heard anything back from the teacher assigned to us or anyone else with the program. Wanting to know more, my wife called our son’s teacher yesterday to get the results. It turns out that my dear wife has been doing a fantastic job! The teacher reported that our son’s scores exceeded the average testing scores, in some cases as much as 20 points above average. She said we should have noticed that his courses had been adjusted to match that because he was on a higher level because of his test results.

My wife – being the proud mama – posted this on her Facebook page. Folks were commenting their congratulations and “liking” the status for Wife and Son. Then, my wife’s best friend commented. Her comment was:

“You know I am very proud of **** and you, but as someone that works in the school system, 10 hours a day 5 days a week, the kids at my school work very hard in all the subjects. And there are plenty of kids with advanced status. With that being said, way to go ****.”

A nice short comment. But knowing this person – who I might add is a pathological liar (no, really, I wouldn’t trust her to tell me the weather if I was sitting by a window because it probably wouldn’t be true) – my wife was a bit upset. She took the comment as a jab from her best friend, trying to diminish the fact that our son, based on the same standards as those in public schools and her friend’s classes, was excelling in all his subjects. And never mind the fact that this woman isn’t even a teacher, she’s an assistant who helps grade papers and watches the class room in the teachers absence, but she felt the need to comment on her students when all my wife was trying to do was be a proud mama and do a little bragging – which all mothers are entitled to.

Maybe the comment was just taken the wrong way, but when mixed with the congratulatory messages from other friends and family, it was sort of the black sheep comment in the room. And the fact that it came from someone who has had a negative outlook on home schooling to start with, there shouldn’t have been any real surprise. My wife, while hurt, felt that she had done something wrong in bragging about our boy. She tried to explain that she meant no harm, was just proud of her child. I, of course, threw in my two-cents because, honestly, I became fed up with this person long before. This morning, she posts a follow up and deletes her original comment. Still, though, she makes sure to bring up her other students and how they are just as well off. A completely unnecessary moment. If this is your best friend, just share in their moment of happiness and joy and move on. Don’t start pointing out all the faults in what they might be saying or excited about. That just makes you an ass.

Her last comment was via a text she sent my wife this morning. “Hey, girl. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. I don’t mean to diminish what you do but I felt that you were diminishing what I do in our schools every day by commenting on how great **** was doing. And as far as what your husband or friends think, I don’t care about them, I just didn’t want you to be mad.” So, you tell your best friend that her husbands opinion is of no concern to you. The man your best friend married and had children with and you don’t concern yourself with his thoughts or opinions on situations involving his wife and son. @#$%^ you, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Really.

Myself – it didn’t really make me mad or upset me, but I did find it a little disturbing considering the woman’s behavior toward our son lately. It started around Christmas of last year when she came to see him and told him she had an “awesome” gift for him but she had forgot it. She would bring it the next time she came over. Well, that next time came but the gift never did. Again, she told him how great a gift she had gotten him and promised it the next time they got together. Nothing. This continued on ’til January, where she finally stopped mentioning it.

Then came our son’s birthday. She comes to the party, and after our son has opened up all his gifts, in front of everyone she proclaims, “Hey, buddy, I’ve got you something good! But it’s at home, I forgot to bring it. I’ll run it by her next week when I’m out, okay?” Our son isn’t all about the getting of gifts, he’s fine and happy if you just show up and everyone has a good time. There was absolutely no reason for her to even mention a gift. We make a point to tell everyone that they don’t even have to bring a gift, just show up and enjoy themselves.

So the birthday promise goes on for a good month. Our son, this time, is asking when she will bring his birthday gift over. Maybe he’s thinking about the Christmas gift that never came, I don’t know, but he’s curious this time. Finally, a month after she’s lead him on two or three times, she shows up to visit one afternoon. My son comes running out of his room, excited and asks, “Did you bring my birthday present?!” To which this grown woman who couldn’t even deliver on a Christmas present she had promised, replies: “**** I gave it to a kid at my school. He did good on a test and I gave it to him as a reward. Sorry, bud. But you got all kinds of stuff already, no biggie.”

Yeah … no biggie. Except now even an 8 year old child knows you to be a liar. We had to sit our son down that night because he was confused and a little upset, and explain that this woman has a condition. We went as far as to point out other times and events, toward him and my wife, that she hasn’t come through and simply made comments that weren’t true. We basically explained to an 8 year old that people lie to kids just like they lie to adults.

It goes on. Lie after lie after lie. Even about things that make no difference. This woman won concert tickets a year or two ago from a radio station. She bragged for two weeks about how these were front row seats and she was excited to go. Front row seats! FRONT ROW! Every day for 2 weeks that’s what we heard her talking about. Then at the last minute, she couldn’t go. I offered to buy them from her. She said $50 would cover it. Ok, no problem. I agreed. Oh, well, wait a minute, now maybe she was going to give them to her sister. Ok. No problem. Well, no if we still wanted them, $50 was good. Fine. Whatever. We go to pick up the tickets and she hesitates before handing them to my wife. “Well, I really thought these were front row tickets, but it turns out they’re balcony level seating.”

Why lie about concert tickets? They were still good seats, mind you, we had a blast, but why even bother with something like that?

Bah, I wash my hands of that foul woman. I can tolerate many things in this world, but the one thing I detest more than anything – ANYTHING – is a liar. I’d rather shake hands and share a meal with Charles Manson than sit at the same table and listen to a liar.

So, excuse my rant on this fine Friday, friends. I had to get that out of my system. Please, continue on your way and thanks for stopping in. I’ll see you around! 🙂


2 thoughts on “Hurtful Comments & Lying Catching Up on a Friend

  1. I am proud of your wife and i am proud of you for having her back. You have a great son, someone you both should be proud of, we don’t mind the bragging. the reassurance that as a parent you are doing what is best for your child is sometimes a breathe of fresh air that just allows you to keep going and find peace when doubt resided before. Keep on keepin’ on. You guys are doing a good job!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s