Let’s Be Honest For Just A Moment

This is it, folks. Seriously. Not a drill. This is the last day of the year 2014. Tomorrow we’ll wake up and be IN THE FUTURE! I’m pretty sure there won’t be any flying DeLorean’s in our 2015. And while that hover board from a month or so ago may have it’s limits, I think it’s safe to say those are still a decade or more away as well. No self-lacing shoes, but we do have good old velcro straps. Oh, and thank God we haven’t had to sit through 9 more sequels of Jaws (or however many there have been compared to Back to the Future II). It’ll just be good old 2015 when we roll out of bed tomorrow. Another day older.

But before we leave this year behind, I’d like to say something.

You see, I know it’s easy to turn these personal blogs into hate-spewing holes of despair. To talk about other people. To just out right lie about things you think no one else will ever find out the truth about. Personally, I don’t like the idea of that and that’s why I always promise to try and have an open relationship with you, Dear Reader, about anything I post or attempt to do in my life. From the 2-episode, short lived 5 Minutes series I attempted on Youtube to the Minecraft videos my son and I haven’t recorded in over a year. Oh, and let’s not forget the good start to a weight loss attempt that ended horrifically for my. I just want to bring it to my personal blog, share it as honestly as possible without putting anyone else in harms way (you, me or my family) and have fun. I like to blog, I love the fact that folks find me interesting enough to follow my “work,” and I do actually care what folks think about me, despite how I may act.

In fact, one could say I respect your opinion of me more than those folks I know in real life. That may be sad to say, but I feel that my enjoyment of blogging and your enjoyment of pursuing said blogs of my type make us “closer” (but not in a creepy way) than some of the “friends” I have around me. I like to do these things, but there are only one or two people in my life that understand and support me for it. There’s also that equal number that even know what I do online. That I Tweet, that I blog, that I try to maintain an active gaming life to both relax and meet like-minded people who share my interests. I listen to podcasts by people I find funny (ha-ha), not of people I have nothing in common with and just insert laughter to make them think I’m having a good time.

Even my wife, who I do love dearly, knows I have something called “a blog,” which she referred to once when I mentioned it as my diary. But I honestly don’t think she’d even know how to get here. And if she were to actually read any of it, I couldn’t tell you if she’d like any of it, but I do know she’s probably make fun of me for it. So in that aspect of my “married life,” I’d say I’m probably standing alone. She’s more of a face to face, board game, family oriented (and I mean Whole Family Wide Oriented) individual. My online life is a joke to her. Video games are childish and this online diary is just a head shake. That kinda hurts, but that could just be the child in me pouting.

I’m not ashamed of my blog, I don’t hide it. I just simply choose not to tell any family, coworkers or friends about it. I don’t go promoting my Twitter account so they can follow me and “lol” at things I say. In truth, I don’t do any of this because, honestly, the folks I know most well would simply use it to gossip about or use against me. They might start out a friendly enough conversation, but it’d eventually be to gain further information or ridicule me.

Those last two blocks of text may seem a bit extreme and paranoid, but I assure you. I haven’t lived 38 years without noting a few important things in my life. The above mentioned reactions to my hobbies is one of them. I’m not weird weird, but I’m weird enough in my “close knit” circle of friends and family and coworkers to be looked upon with odd stares and slow head nods.

(Side Note: as I write this, I’m eating a bowl of Hormel low sodium chili. It tastes horrible. I think it needs more sodium.)

The point of all of this is … well … completely unrelated to what I was actually going to talk about. If you’ve read this far, though, what brought it all on was the fact that my wife’s family – even after 11 years of marriage, several years of dating, many holidays, birthdays, etc –

A portion of this post has been removed after careful consideration to prevent any hurt feelings or misunderstandings. Thank you.

. Because I don’t have a filter or believe in censoring myself like that. I’ve always believed in honesty – there are no lies you have to remember if you always speak the truth.

Yes, I know, sometimes you have to fib or tell an untruth to prevent something worse from happening, but that’s not what I’m talking about. When you’re around folks who can get their feelings hurt at the drop of a hat, someone like me doesn’t stand a chance. I’m a natural smart alec – or at least that’s how people take me. I don’t purposely go into a situation planning on hurting anyone, it’s just how they take me when I don’t sugar coat what they want to hear.

I’m not heartless or emotionless or cold as some may perceive me. I get my feelings hurt to. But when I go out of my way to be silent in order to be kind, don’t judge me as being rude or uncomfortable. I’m simply trying to be on my best behavior. Sadly, that’s misread and people do judge and say I have a problem or don’t like them.

I feel it’s a no-win scenario.

So, yeah. I have no other point to this whole thing. I just wanted to whine and cry my little crocodile tears, I guess. Ending also redacted

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