What I Want To Say …

This is what I want to say: 

“I give up. I do. I am tired of trying to stay ahead and do everything the right way and work my butt off just for things to fall through due to one misplaced little piece of the giant puzzle. I can’t do it anymore. It just causes more trouble and creates more stress and distance between loved ones. All I ever ask is for something to go my way when I need it most, and that’s usually when the rug gets pulled out from beneath me. I’m tired, out of shape and miserable because I feel I constantly let my family down week after week. I need relief. I need hope. And I need it yesterday, not tomorrow or two weeks from now. I need to know I’ve not lost myself while trying not to lose anything else. So I’m done. I wash my hands of the whole do-gooder attitude and take the bullet. Time to stop trying to dodge the train when it just keeps racing right at me.”

This is what I say instead:

“Oh, I’m fine! How are you today? Great. Yes, everything is going great.”

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