I’ve heard people asked the question: “If you could change one thing about your spouse, what would it be?”
Some folks respond, “Nothing, I married them for those exact same qualities.” While others have responded with giant checklists of, “Hmm, where should I start?” But the fact is, it’s hard to change someone that has years of that wiring tangled up inside them. It’s near darn impossible, in my experience.
If I were allowed to change one thing about my wife, even for just one day, I know exactly what it would be. You see, my wife lives life at a breakneck pace. She’s constantly rushing through the house, through the streets, through other people’s lives as if she’s in a race and there is no end. From the time she wakes up until the multiple times she tries to sleep, her mind and her body is racing constantly toward an invisible goal that even she knows she’ll never reach. There may be a name to this way of thinking/acting, heck, I’m sure it’s even related to some disorder that has a pill or twenty a doctor will happily prescribe you. But if I could grant the change of one thing about my wife, it would be that she slow down for one day and see what she’s missing.
For one day, I’d like for my wife to wake up and just take her time. No, not everything may get done that day, but that’s how life works. Slow down. She’s constantly running, starting 3 different tasks at once, forgetting about one, running back to it while working on the other two, and begins a juggling act, nearly dropping all three numerous times. She’s wrecking havoc on her body and mind, but she believes this is how everything needs to be. Because I don’t run at the same speed or share the same stress, she believes I am part of the cause behind her rushing. Other people get the same blame.
Example: We were coming home from church this afternoon and just 6 minutes from home, we get behind a car that is going a bit slower than us. She exhales deeply and starts waving her hands. “It’s things like this that stress me out. These people could go faster!” she exclaimed. “Everything stresses you out, dear. You just need to slow down. You’re going to have a heart attack one day.” Her response was one of the classics: “I don’t have time to slow down. My whole day is a rush just to get things done.”
I make her mad with my, what she calls, laid back, lazy, don’t care about anything attitude. But I do care, a lot, about her and others we know. I’m just not going to run myself into the ground over things that either A) can wait, B) aren’t that important, or C) won’t be affected either way.
Life’s too short. That’s all. No “play hard,” “just do it,” or any other ignorant slogan about how you should live. Just, “life’s too short.” And if you could watch my poor wife work, you’d realize that most of her “gotta get it done” tasks aren’t important enough to be stressed about. I’m not sure where she gets it from because her parents don’t seem to be that way. Her grandmother, maybe a little, but nothing like my wife.
I feel sorry for her, have tried to talk to her, even urged her to go to the doctor and talk about what he might be able to do for her. But she refuses and says I don’t understand, and that’s just how she has to handle things to make sure they get done. I worry about her, but she just reacts with anger if I try to slow her down. And I honestly don’t know what else to do for her, except pray. I’ve been doing that on and off for years, and I’ve really concentrated on it the last few weeks because it’s just a matter of time before her body begins to fight back. She’s already work out so much on the weekend that she nearly collapses into the bed at the end of the day, but the very next morning, she’s right back at full speed, ignoring all the warning signs.
So, why am I pouring this out here? I don’t know, but it’s touched my heart strongly today and I needed to discuss it. Needed to vent, though it’s not something of anger or frustration. Maybe it’s because I wanted to get it out into the open and ask those of you that take the time to read this to please pray for my wife. Please pray for her to slow down, smell the roses, give her body and mind a break and learn to appreciate the smaller, simpler things in life. Pray her her to find peace of mind and accept that her 100 mph highway also has a slow lane for us regular folks. Pray that she will realize how much of a hole she would leave behind if she continues to push herself to the breaking point and suffers greatly for it.
Thank you for reading, I appreciate your time 🙂 Have a great week.